really?

So after the social worker's home visit last weekend, we thought we were home free. After all, when I went to file the adoption papers at the courthouse a month ago, the clerk there (who knows these things) said we'd just have a home visit and that would be it.

It wasn't.

The other day - Friday - at 3 p.m., I got a frantic phone call from my mother, who was at home. There was a message from a lawyer and I needed to call her right away. This is not a phone call you want to get at 3 p.m. on a Friday. Hell, it's not a phone call you want to get ever, but it's especially bad late on a Friday afternoon. My mind immediately went to all the horrible things that could be happening - my ex decided not to give up his parental rights and was going to contest the adoption; my ex's parents have decided to contest the adoption; I didn't fill the papers out correctly. Lots of things.

Turns out it was the court-appointed guardian ad litem. The attorney that essentially represents the Ubergoober and makes sure what we're doing is in his best interest. And she needs to do a home visit, too.

Before the hearing, which is scheduled for first thing in the morning on Tuesday.

She wanted to do it right away Friday afternoon, but that was impossible. I was at work, Nature Boy was at work and Goober was at school. Plus, I had a parent teacher conference after work and archery season was opening the next day and Ty was coming home after work to get ready to go hunting.. things were just hectic.

So we scheduled the visit for this morning. Frankly, before the visit, I was a little... I suppose stressed would be the best term. Here we had a lawyer who has had the termination and adoption papers for about a month and she just now realized she had to do a home visit to make sure we are appropriate parents to our child. Well, since we're all technical here, I should say it's my child and the child Nature Boy has been raising as his own for more than six years. Ahem.

I got up early and baked muffins and made coffee. Nature Boy rushed out to the barn to do a few chores and the boys slept in but were ready in plenty of time for the visit. Thankfully the lawyer showed up more or less on time.

In a tie-dyed T-shirt, a Hogwarts jean jacket and bedroom slippers. She may or may not have combed her hair for the occasion.

Seriously.

She looked more like a hippie biker chick than an attorney, but since I'm not one for stereotypes, I didn't want to judge too harshly. Until she started complaining about lawyers. (What do you call 700 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A start! *guffaw*.) Then she informed the Ubergoober of his rights. He was being adopted. There would be a court hearing, which he would not need to attend. He could get a lawyer and contest the hearing if he wished.

Because, of course, a 7-year-old boy would totally understand all of this. And of course he'd know where to find an attorney.

But that's okay because she immediately complimented us on our home and began a litany of complaints about her own home, which was currently uninhabitable because there was some water damage and mold and the contractors have been there for two years so she was currently living in her office with her four children. And all the personal treasures she had stored in the basement are now ruined. Including her ice-fishing tip-ups, which was truly devastating. Also, did I have a copy of the report she was supposed to fill out? She didn't find one in the TWENTY PAGE PACKET OF PAPERS I MAILED HER A MONTH AGO. I flipped through the packet of papers I had. I did not have a report, nor was there one listed on the checklist of papers I was supposed to have. It was my fault, I guess. I should have anticipated that the guardian ad litem, the person responsible for representing my son's best interest in this whole thing, would have major home issues and was living in her office with her four children and had completely forgotten about our pending adoption hearing.

The visit lasted more than a half hour and only about five minutes of it were spent on the pending adoption. She did tell us that during the hearing, both Nature Boy and I would have to testify about our relationship, how long we have been married, why he wanted to adopt the Ubergoober. And then she left.

We didn't feel the relief at the end of her visit that we did with the social worker. We just felt confused and a little frightened. The social worker reassured us. We are a good family and everything will be fine. The lawyer offered no such reassurance, except for the fact that she was impressed we weren't raising our children "in a chicken coop with a dirt floor." Yes, that is a direct quote.

So I just keep telling myself that in roughly 36 hours this will all be over. I'm sure everything will go well. I'm sure we will come out of this as a family again. We're going in as a family, after all.

To distract myself, I'm trying to imagine what the guardian ad litem will wear to the hearing. Anyone have any guesses?